The Quell
by slytherincredible
Summary: It's time to find out how Haymitch became the way he is. He wasn't always a sullen alcoholic that hates the world. This prequel centres around Haymitch's Games and what happened after.


_It's time to find out how Haymitch became the way he is. He wasn't always an aggressive alcoholic that hates the world. This prequel centres around Haymitch's Games, how he won and what happened after..._

**Disclaimer:** All of the stuff you recognise belongs to Suzanne Collins. Samples from "Catching Fire" and "Mockingjay." The only thing that belongs to me is a few character names.

I walk along the road, aggressively kicking a stone as I go. I stare carelessly around at the tiny houses of the Seam and try to avoid eye contact with the other kids rushing home from school. I still hear the teacher's voice echoing in my head "Don't forget to tune in tonight at exactly five o'clock. Special announcement all the way from the Capitol!" the way she said it you'd think that it was District Twelve's honour to be priveliged with viewings from the Capitol.

A warm hand closes over mine and I look to my left. There she is. Aliyah Albury, my girl. She smiles wryly and falls in step beside me.

"You want to walk a little slower next time, Haymitch. I almost had to run to catch you." Her tone isn't angry, she's never angry.

"Sorry. I just hate this whole _Capitol_ deal."

She casts a furtive look around, scared I will be overheard.

"Never mind that now," I say, "Those damned Peacekeepers steer clear of the Seam if they can help it."

"I know that as well as you do. But still, being careful never hurt anyone."

I ignore that and continue kicking stones.

Later my family, my self and Aliyah are clustered together in our tiny loungeroom. Dad got off work in the mines early for this special broadcast. Must be important.

No one is speaking, but when the TV bursts to life and the Capitol seal appears on the screen the room becomes even more silent. No one seems to be breathing anymore.

President Snow is on the screen, smiling like he's the luckiest man in the world. And in some ways, I guess, he is. Whatever this announcement is it will not affect him in any way.

The announcer is waffling, something about a card. Now President Snow is telling the story of Panem. How the silly little Districts thought they were strong enough to fight it, how the victorious Capitol had started The Hunger Games 50 years ago as punishment for the naughty little rebels. A little boy comes on to the stage now, Snow's son perhaps? He's holding a box. Snow opens the box and pulls out a yellowed envelope with a smudged 50 on it. He opens it, scans it quickly then smiles greasily.

"As a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen during the Dark Days," he says jauntily in to the microphone, smiling out at the Capitol crowd, "every District is required to send twice as many tributes to the Games."

Silence. Even more intense than it had been before. Aliyah grips my hand a little tighter and tears spring in to my mother's eyes. She looks over at my brother and I, she buries her face in her hands. I look at Charlie, he turned twelve three months ago, the odds would not be in his favour if he was chosen.

"Which means, of course, that this year will be the best Games ever!" this statement is met with cheers and screams from the crowd. A feeling wells in my stomach, disgust. Those people are worse than animals.

"Well, I'd better be going. My mother will …" Aliyah says quietly, kisses my cheek and leaves the room. Her house is only two houses away from mine. We're all a bit too close for comfort in the Seam. Ordinarily I'd walk her home, but I don't think my mother could handle me being out of her sight at the moment.

The next three months go by as normal. School, learning about coal. Dinner conversations about the mines. Everyone is carefully avoiding the subject of the Quarter Quell. I can't help looking out at my fellow classmates and thinking "Which of you will I be seeing on TV?"

The day of the Reaping dawns bright, windy and just a little cold. I wake up to the sound of my mother sobbing. She's making tea for my father and Charlie though her body is shaking slightly with suppressed sobs. When I enter the tiny kitchen she throws her arms around me and says a shaky "Good morning" then she sets a cup of tea in front of me with a shaking hand.

"Boys," my father says, his voice is very calm. A little too calm, "Your mother and I are going into town now. We'll be back at one. We expect you to be … ready by then."

I nod, Charlie is staring into his tea, as though expecting it to speak words of comfort to him. I remember how scared I was on the day of my first reaping and try to double it, it's too much for my stomach to handle.

"Haymitch?" Charlie is standing in the doorway to the tiny bedroom we share.

"Yeah?" I say, trying to keep my voice kind even though my stomach is dancing with nerves.

"What will happen if I get reaped?" he seems smaller than he's ever been, and he's always been the smallest in his year. Wearing a pair of my best pants and a good shirt, tucked in at the waist to hide the fact it falls to his knees. His hair is all ruffled.

I pull him in front of me and start combing his hair properly, "That won't happen. You're only in there once."

"How many times are you in there?"

"Eight." I say gruffly, "Remember when Dad was injured and couldn't work? I took out tesserae."

He nods. I can feel him trembling as I finish combing his hair.

"Don't stress too much, little bro. You're totally safe."

My parents return from town with a nice looking chicken.

"How'd you get this?" I ask in amazement. Chicken is awfully expensive and we've only had it about twice.

"Never mind that now, dear. Just eat and enjoy" my mother says quietly, "it's near-nearly t-"

"Time to go." My father finishes for her.

We make our way to the square, being swallowed up by the other citizens making the same, slow walk. I can't help but think that for at least four of us, this is the walk to hell. I spot Aliyah in the crowd and signal to her. She is holding her mother's hand and patting her father's elbow reassuringly. She hugs them both lengthily then makes her way over to me.

Charlie gives me a shaky hug before moving to the back of the crowd with the other twelve-year-olds. I look my father in the eye and he pats me on the back, he's never been one for words. But he says a lot of things with that pat on the back. Then my mother envelopes me in her arms, I feel her trembling again.

"Good luck, my darling."

I try to speak words of comfort to her, but my voice fails. Every year the reaping is terrifying. But knowing that there's a double chance of me being selected? It's nothing short of torture.

The Mayor is telling all the children to take their places. I pull Aliyah close to my chest and kiss her on the top of the head, "It will be fine" I say quietly.

"See you on the other side" she says softly, running a finger down my jawline.

"May the odds be ever in your favour" I say grimly before turning my back on her and walking to the pen for the sixteen-year-old boys.

A woman with shiny gold hair that glints in the sun is standing on the stage, smiling benignly at the crowd. I get the feeling in my stomach that arises whenever I see a Capitol person. Hatred, disgust and, though I'd never admit it, jealousy. What must it be like? To never want for anything, to be able to look forward to this day all year as the height of entertainment.

"Welcome, welcome!" the woman says, her voice is too sweet to be natural, "to the 50th annual Hunger Games. And even more excitingly, the 2nd Quarter Quell!" she pauses here, as though waiting for applause. It never comes. "Now, this is a very special Games, as you all know. This year I will be choosing four lucky children for a shot of glory! So, ladies first!" she moves over to a glass ball with slips of paper inside it. Her hand reaches inside and moves around. My fingers are crossed in my pocket, hoping against hope for Aliyah's safety.

"Jessy Hanson!" she calls out. A tiny little thirteen-year-old makes her way up to the stage. Her face is paper white and she looks like she's about to faint. She's from the Seam but I've never really seen her before. But I still feel for the little girl, she won't stand a chance in the Arena.

The gold-haired woman reaches into the ball again, my fingers are aching as I press them together even harder. I try to find Aliyah's face in the crowd, but I can't.

"Maysilee Donner!" she calls again in the same jaunty tone. Three blonde girls are standing in the sixteen-year-old girls area close to me, all clutching hands. Two of them must be twins, the third is another town kid but obviously no relation. The one in the middle drops the other two girls' hands and makes her way up to her death.

"Now, for the gentleman!" the joy in her tone sickens me further.

Her hand reaches into the boys' ball and my stomach contracts painfully. Not only for myself but for Charlie.

"Dorian Macavey!" I sigh a sigh of relief as a boy from directly behind me makes his way through the crowd. He's another Seam kid, he lives near me. I watch him go with a funny feeling in my stomach, he's in my class.

"Now we're down to the final tribute! Oh, this is exciting." I roll my eyes.

"Let's go!" her hand reaches, again, into the ball. I close my eyes and hope for Andy's safety. And my own, of course.

"Haymitch Abernathy!" she calls.

My stomach drops to somewhere behind my knee caps. What? What did she say? Did I imagine it? Then I open my eyes and see the people around me staring. No, I must have heard correctly. I scowl for the cameras and make my way up to the stage.

I look out into the crowd and spot my mother standing around the pens. Her face is buried in my father's shoulder. I feel a stab of pain in my chest and have to work hard to compose myself, crying right now wouldn't help my case at all.

Off the stage, into the Justice Building. All four of us are ushered in to different rooms. It is plush in here. White leather couches and velvet pillows.

I sit alone, playing with a tassle on the pillow for about five minutes before my mother, father and Charlie come bursting in.

"Oh, _Haymitch!_" my mother cries and throws her arms around me, she begins sobbing. I pat her on the back awkwardly and catch my father's eye. I quickly look away though, when I see that he too has tears welling in there.

Charlie comes over to my chair and puts his hand on mine, "You can win, Haymitch. Just because Twelves never win doesn't mean you can't."

"I'll try my best, buddy" I say without any real conviction. He's right, District Twelve hasn't had a victor in fifteen years and the odds are even more slim this year.

A Peacekeeper comes and ushers them out. The door opens again and Aliyah runs to my chair and flings herself on to my lap. She starts crying too, but not sobbing like my mother.

"Oh, Haymitch" she says.

"Don't" I say grumpily, cutting her off. Having to comfort people when I'm the one on my way to slaughter isn't how I want to spend my last minutes at home.

"You have to win." She says, sniffling and wiping her eyes.

"Yeah, with forty-seven other kids?" I say, "Fat chance." My words are coming out angrier than I mean them to. But I'm scared if I speak too much I'll cry.

"You have to _try_" she says imploringly, squeezing my hand, "At least try."

The Peacekeepers return and usher her out too. As they are guiding her out the door she turns around and says, slightly angrily, "Come home."

I sit alone for another few minutes until a Peacekeeper comes and leads me out to a car. I've never been in a car before, but I can hardly enjoy it at the moment. It's a short car ride to the train station. I get out and see cameras everywhere, the flash blinds me everywhere I look. I keep a scowl on my face the entire time, I don't want them to know how I'm feeling.

Once I'm on the train I trudge to my compartment which is fully equipped with a bed, bathroom and cupboard full of clothes. I lay down on the bed and sigh, I rub my eyes with my hands, still willing myself to wake up and have this all be a very bad dream.

"Haymitch! Come, it's time for supper!" the gold-haired woman is knocking on my door. I want to ignore her but I think I should probably go. I'm hungry anyway.

I walk in to the dining car and see Teddy Lockerby, the only living Twelve victor sitting next to the gold-haired woman. I can't remember her name for the life of me.

At the same time I walk in so do Maysilee, Jessy and Dorian. I nod curtly to them and take a seat at the table. The food is more than I could have hoped for, it all looks so rich and tasty. With total disreguard for cutlery I begin to eat with my hands. I see Dorian and Jessy do the same but Maysilee, being a town kid, has been taught proper table manners and knows to always use them. But even she eats extremely quickly.

"Hello dears. I'm Ellie Weston." The gold-haired woman says, "But of course, you all knew that" she giggles girlishly. I nod my head to show I've heard, reluctant to stop eating. At least I know her name now. "And I'm sure you know Teddy Lockerby, he's been where you are now. All this excitement ahead of you."

"You call it excitement, then?" I say before I can stop myself.

Ellie looks at me in a confused way, "Whatever do you mean, er, Haymitch? Dear, dear there's no many of you I think we should get some name tags!"

"Never mind." I say quietly into my food.

She lets the subject drop.

The train is going so fast I can barely comprehend it. We're passing District after District at lightening speed. We'll be in the Capitol in a matter of hours at this rate.

I'm in my compartment, brooding over my anger at Ellie when there's a knock on the door.

"Get lost" I say to the closed door.

It opens anyway. Dorian walks in. He doesn't say anything, he just walks in and sits on the chair near the foot of my bed. I get a close look at him and he is very pale, the fear in his eyes is so easily recognisable it almost hurts me to look at him.

"Do you want to be allies?" he says without preamble.

"Allies?" I ask, with a hint of a laugh, "In the Arena?"

"No, Haymitch. In our day to day lives." He says, staring at me with narrowed eyes, "Of course in the Arena! Districts One, Two and Four always make alliances, why can't we?"

I stare at him, weighing up my options, "Okay" I say, "But we part ways at the top eight, if we make it that far"

He nods. That's the tricky thing about alliances in the Arena. You go into them knowing they can only be temporary. That's why they weren't in my plan. But the more I think about it an extra pair of eyes would be handy I guess.

When we reach the Capitol it's overwhelming. It all seems so artifical, the sky too blue, the grass too green. The apartment buildings painted ludicrous colours like pink, purple and orange.

"Okay, your stylists are going to do things you won't like. Deal with it." Teddy says abruptly before we get off the train. He doesn't say it unkindly but the tone of his voice plainly says he means business.

He's right. The prep team are like foreign creatures. Coloured and painted they're like animals. They inject something into my jaw and cheeks, and paint my body down with stuff that stings at first, then makes it shine. Then they put make up on my face, to cover up the tired rings under my eyes. When that's all done they leave the room without saying anything to me, only praising each other on "making him look almost normal." Then who I assume is my stylist walks in. She is a tall, slim woman who has had her body painted to look like a tiger. She even has pointy claw-like nails on the end of her fingers.

"I'm Tigris." She says, her voice is low and gravelly.

"Is that your real name? Or did you change it?" I ask, again before I can stop myself.

"Changed it." She says bluntly. Then gets to work, moving me around the room in different lights and looking at me from different angles. I don't see the point really. District Twelve Tributes are always dressed as coal miners, and those outfits are never flattering.

Just as I expected, we're coal miners. Dorian, Maysilee, Jessy and I are dressed in baggy pants, Dorian and I are shirtless with coal dust smudged on us and the girls are wearing black bras, with coal dust smudged over them. We go in carriages around the city circle, this year it's two Tributes to each carriage. I get paired with Maysilee. From the corner of my eye I see her leg shaking, I remember her twin sister crying at the reaping and wonder vaguely how she is doing. But that stirs thoughts of my family, and of Aliyah. So I stop. The carriages crank us slowly around the circle, everyone is cheering, waving and jumping around. I feel like I could vomit all over them, these sick people are cheering over the fact that forty-seven people aren't coming out of the Arena. And one of us is coming out a murderer.

When we reach the training centre we're ushered inside and we see Ellie and Teddy waiting for us. The six of us get in the lift and Ellie hits the 12 button. The floor the tributes are on is their District number. Smart. We are shown our rooms and left to shower and re-dress. I barely have time to register how nice my room is because I'm so eager to get out of this ridiculous attire. I think of my mother, watching me from the loungeroom, more than likely crying. I think of Aliyah, who begged me to try. And little Charlie, who has legitimate faith that I can win this. I scowl again and get in the shower. The shower in our house only has cold water, which is better than half the Seam who don't have showers at all. This one has limitless supplies of hot water though. I stand under it for longer than I mean to. The coal dust is long gone by the time Ellie knocks on the door again, telling me dinner is served.

In the dining room more of the plush food is layed out on the table, looking delectable. I sit down silently and begin to help myself.

"What about you, Haymitch?" Teddy says, his words breaking my train of thought.

"Huh?" I say, not having been paying attention to the conversation that was going on.

"Do you have any special talents?"

"Nuh," I say shortly and return to my beef stew.

"Nothing?" Teddy asks, "Okay, well then you'll need to pay special attention in training"

"Right" I say in a dismissive way. This is harder than I thought. I want to go home, but to go home I'll have to play the Games. That is something I don't want to do. I hate the Capitol, I always have. A mutual hate of the Capitol is what brought Aliyah and I together five years ago. Of course, we were just friends then, but as we matured so did our relationship. I think of her crying face in the Justice building and how I'd snapped at her. My stomach floods with regret as I shovel a large mouthful of beef stew in to my mouth to deflect the feelings.

The next day we're scheduled to go down to training at 10am. The four of us arrive at exactly 10 to find almost every other tribute there. I look out over the sea of kids. I see the typical careers, from Districts One, Two and Four. They've trained their whole lives for this. They're all at least twice as big as me, even the girls. The twelve of them are standing in a group looking menacingly at the rest of us. I tear my eyes away from one of the District Four girls, she looks about 6 ft tall and more than double my size, not fat, but solid. Her bronzey hair back in a plait and her tanned skin reflecting her green eyes. District Four, the seafood District. She's leering at me in an unpleasant way. I look around at all the others, all forty-seven of them. I can't help but imagine a situation where I could kill any of them. I'm slightly disgusted in myself to admit I'd probably have no trouble taking three of the Nine tributes, they all look to be between Twelve and Fourteen and not very big or strong.

Dorian sticks to me like glue, I am perplexed as to why at first before I remember our promise of an alliance. Before too long we team up with Maysilee and Jessy as well, this alliance will not carry on in to the arena, but for training it's best to look as though we're a team.

I have no idea where to go once training actually begins. I decide to try knife throwing. Turns out I'm pretty good at it, I hit the target pretty often. I also excel in the rope tying station. But how useful is that going to be?

After three solid days of training the eve of the Games has finally arrived. The interviews are scheduled for tonight. My prep team and Tigris return to make me look "almost normal" again.

Thankfully I don't have to reflect Twelve in this interview. I'm dressed in a simple black suit and a red tie. I think I look stupid but Ellie tells me I look charming.

The interviews are required viewing for all of Panem, which means my family and Aliyah will be watching this. I wonder vaguely if Aliyah will go to my house and watch with them. I imagine them, Aliyah and mother, huddled up on the couch together crying while Charlie watches, trying to keep a brave face and my father sits stock still in his chair.

They start at District One and work their way down. Which means I have to sit through almost everyone else being interviewed first. When the girl from District Four is called, the one I noticed in training, I pay attention. Her name is Dorynn, even her voice is menacing as she tells Ceaser Flickerman that she woke up on the morning of the Reaping hoping to be chosen.

Finally, Maysilee is sitting down, which means I'm next. I can't wait to get this over and done with. When Ceaser calls my name the crowd cheers, not as loud as they did for some of the others, but politely all the same. I try to keep my back straight as I walk over and take a seat opposite him. I look in to his face and wonder what he thinks about before he goes to sleep at night, what he dreams about.

"So, Haymitch, what do you think of the Games having 100 per cent more competitors than usual?" he says merrily. What a stupid question! What does he expect me to say? Wish the Capitol residents happy viewing?

I look at him, at his stupid dark green hair, eyelids and lips and shrug nonchalantly, "I don't see that it makes much difference. They'll still be one hundred per cent as stupid as usual, so I figure my odds will be roughly the same." Crap. I shouldn't have said that. I should have lied.

The audience is laughing, even Caeser is smiling indulgently at me. I give a tentitive smile at the crowd, hoping I'm not in trouble for that.

"How did you feel, when your name was called at the Reaping?" Caeser continues. I have to work really hard not to roll my eyes here. This guy asks the most ridiculous questions.

"Well, nervous." I say slowly, self-censoring my words, "But I was also pretty relieved it wasn't my little brother."

"Sweet" Ceaser says, he sounds sincere, "Really sweet" he smiles cheesily at the crowd, his teeth are so white and perfectly square. They can't be real.

After a few more stupid questions on Ceaser's part the buzzer sounds, signalling the end of my time. Ceaser wishes me luck, shakes my hand and I go back to my seat.

Back in the training centre after the interviews the mood is tense. This is it, this time tomorrow we'll be in the Arena. Maybe even dead. The Games start at ten, the Capitol residents like to sleep late. But us Tributes have an early wake-up, we have to get ready, wouldn't want to look ugly when we're murdered.

"Alright kids." Teddy says bracingly, we're gathered around him in the hall, "this is where we say goodbye. You won't see me tomorrow before the Arena. Just remember everything you've learned in training, Don't stay for the bloodbath, then.. just do all you can to stay alive."

I lay in bed for hours, unable to sleep. Wondering if this is the last night I will ever experience. I look out at the moon and think about Aliyah, if she's looking up at the moon too. I sigh and let myself fall in to an uneasy sleep.

The sunlight coming through the curtain wakes me up in the morning, from my judgement I'd say it's just after dawn. I sigh a long, deep sigh. My stomach feels alive with jumpy little movements. I've never been this nervous before, it's an alien feeling. I allow myself one last thought of home before I get in the shower. I stay in there for a long time. Then, before I know it Tigris is in the bathroom, telling me to get out and get dressed. She helps me dress in a black neck-to-foot jumpsuit with a small, golden '12' on the breast, right over my heart. Then we go to the roof of the training centre where a hovercraft is waiting. When I step on to the ladder it freezes me in place, I wonder vaguely if this is to prevent me from jumping to my death. When i'm inside the Hovercraft a woman in a white coat is waiting, poised with a needle.

"I'm just going to place a tracking device in your arm, Haymitch" she says, she sounds a little grim. The ladder keeps me stock still while she stabs me with the needle in the inside of my forearm. Tigris comes up the ladder in the next moment and we sit on opposite sides of the table, not speaking. When breakfast arrives I eat quickly, not feeling hungry but knowing that food may be scarce in the Arena.

Before I know it I'm in the holding area. I wonder fleetingly if this is the last proper room I'll ever see. Tigris stays with me until the last minute. And as a voice overhead sounds and tells me to step on the small, circular, metal plate she approaches me and kisses my forehead lightly, "Goodluck, boy." She says in her gravelly voice. A tube comes down and I feel myself being lifted upwards. My heart is beating wildly and I feel my face form a scowl, I hate the Capitol now more than ever. If it wasn't for this Quarter Quell I wouldn't even be here.

The tube around me recedes and I'm left standing alone on my plate. The procedure is that tributes get sixty seconds to take in the arena. Step off your plate before the sixty seconds, you get blown to bits by land mines. Simple, right? Suddenly my thought process is halted. I take a glimpse of the Arena and my mouth opens slightly, I feel my eyebrows raise in surprise. Some of the other tributes are grinning with pleasure, I wouldn't go that far. But this place really is something. It's almost like a meadow, flowers everywhere which are vibrant shades of all colours imaginable, the sky is a pastel blue and the clouds almost look like cotton-candy. I turn a full 360 and see green woods on one side and a snow-topped mountain on the other side. A beautiful smell evades my nostrils, it's the sweetest thing I've ever smelled, I can't even give a name to it.

The gong sounds and I'm off my plate as quickly as I can manage. Most of the others are still standing on their plates, sniffing the air. I run to the Cornucopia and snag a hunting knife and two smaller knives. As I'm running away I also sling a large, black backpack onto my arm and keep running, not even looking back. I reach the sanctity of the woods before I remember Dorian. We were supposed to be allies. I turn around to face the distant Cornucopia just in time to see a girl from District One hit Dorian through the neck with a spear. I feel a sense of sadness rise up in my stomach, but don't stop. There's no point now. I keep at a steady jog into the woods. Away from the mountain. I walk until the sun is slipping behind the wretched mountain. Finally, sensing that I'm a safe distance away from the others I set up camp under a tree. The backpack I got has a thick sleeping bag, two bottles of water, a small length of rope, a little pouch of assorted nuts and a loaf of bread. I drink a few mouthfuls of water and eat a few nibbles of bread before climbing in to my sleeping back. I pull out the larger knife and clutch it in my hand as I lay down.

I'm almost asleep when the cannon starts sounding. I count eighteen. Then the sky is alight with the days casualties. My stomach contracts when I see that not only Dorian but little Jessy didn't make it out of the Cornicopia either. My thoughts travel to Maysilee and I wonder how she is doing. If I can't make it I hope she wins, at least it will help District Twelve. I also notice, with a small amount of satisfaction that the Career pack has sustained losses too. A boy from One and a girl two also show up in the sky.

As the night wears on it becomes bitterly cold. The sleeping bag I got at the Cornicopia holds in body heat and I'm curled up in a ball yet I'm still shivering. I think about the other Tributes that have no sleeping bag and wonder how many will make it until morning.

When I wake up the next morning I start moving immediately. Always keeping the mountain in the distance. Something occurred to me in my sleep, as though my sub-conscious mind had always known it. The Arena has to end somewhere, and I'm going to find it.

The woods aren't actually that bad, there's lots of animals scurrying around in the trees but never paying much attention to me. At what I assume is midday I stop for some lunch. I pull out my bread and eat a few more nibbles. I'm pretty hungry but I don't know how long this bread is going to have to last me, so I savour it. I also eat a tiny handful of my nuts. I sip a bit more water and continue walking. After about a mile I see a fluffy golden squirrel blocking my path. I try to side-step it but it launches at me. Without even a second thought I raise my knife and bring it home through the squirrel's neck. It falls to the ground twitching and bloody. I swear under my breath, shake my head and keep walking. However now squirrels are pouncing from the branches of the trees and latching on to me. One of their claws runs down my face and I cry out. I'm hacking at the squirrels with fury, they fall all around me, I'm covered in their blood.

When I'm a safe distance away from them I sit by a lake and take off my shoes and socks. I dip my big toe in the water and withdraw it immediately. I see a blistering sore appearing there. This water must be like acid! I vaguely wonder how many of my fellow tributes have fallen prey to this clever trap of the Gamemakers. I put my shoes and socks back on and continue walking.

Two more days of walking and I'm sitting on a rock that is quite high up, it overlooks a bit of the meadow, I'm beginning to wonder why I haven't run into any Tributes yet but then I stop thinking that, in case it means that they will appear from the trees.

I'm just about to take a sip of precious water when an earth shattering BANG rings out through the Arena. I start and look around. What meets my eyes brings up a mixture of emotions. I see the mountain has erupted, liquid fire is spilling out the top. Then I start again as the cannon blasts twelve times. I do a quick count and realise, with a pang there is thirteen of us left now.

"On the home stretch" I mutter to myself before I continue walking. That night as the faces of the dead tributes light up the night sky I see that only five Careers remain. This, at least, is something. I also notice that Maysilee is still around. With that comforting thought I drift in to sleep.

I awake to the sound of voices near me. I jump up and hastily stuff my sleeping bag into my backpack. A downside of that mountain exploding is that everyone is now forced into the woods, I guess. I creep from tree to tree trying to avoid being seen by whoever is lurking around.

I peak around and see two boys, I think one is from Five, the other from Eleven, they are both sporting minor burns on their hands and faces. The one from Eleven says he is going to look around the woods and that the other should set up camp. Eleven walks in the opposite direction and as soon as he's gone I reach an impasse, it would be so easy to throw my knife and kill this boy. For a brief moment I consider leaving him be, but I need to start playing. I hurl the knife and it plants in the back of Five's head. I scurry forward, retrieve my knife and scarper off in to the woods, before Eleven returns and realises his ally is dead. The cannon fires and I run faster.

I continue walking through the woods, stopping only to eat three, tiny meals a day. I still have about half a loaf of bread and one bottle of water. I am constantly hungry but not starving. The hedges in the woods seem to be herding me on a circuitous route. I follow it though, my mind wanders while I walk, which isn't a good idea. Before I know what's going on three of the massive Careers are on top of me. Each with bigger weapons, one even has a blowtorch. I think of Charlie and it propels me forwards, I drive my knife into the boy from One's neck, then in the same swift movement I jab it into the boy from Two's eye. I turn around to get the girl from Two as well but she has me in a headlock before I can do anything. Her knife is poised at the base of my throat, this is it. This is how I'm going to die. I hope Charlie isn't watching this. When suddenly the pressure is released. I hear the girl's massive body hit the ground.

I look around increduolously, hoping it's not the damned squirrels back again when I see Maysilee emerging from the trees, holding what appears to be a blowgun. I look at her questionigly, wondering if she is about to get me too.

"We'd live longer with two of us" she says sheepishly.

I hesitate for a moment, my neck is aching from District Two gripping it so hard, "Guess you just proved that" I say, "Allies?" I continue walking in the same direction, only this time with Maysilee by my side. She has strips of beef in her pack so I use some of my precious bread and we make sandwhiches for dinner.

"Where are we heading Haymitch?" she asks me as we're walking swiftly through the woods, she's carrying the blowtorch that one of the Career's had. We got a fair few supplies from their packs. I ignore her and keep walking. She asks me this several times a day but every time I ignore her.

Taking her on as an ally turns out to be an excellent decision, she's very resourceful and when we run out of water she has the brilliant idea to collect rainwater, which turns out to be perfectly drinkable.

One night before we go to sleep we see the day's casualties and I realise something, "Hey, Maysilee, there's only five of us left."

"Is there?" she says, sounding as though she doesn't believe me. I see her counting on her fingers and then she falls silent. I almost say "I told you so" but I refrain.

The next morning we wake up, take a few sips of water each and a few bites of bread.

"Walking again, Haymitch?" she says sounding exasperated.

"Yeah, come on." I say, standing up and beginning to walk.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me where you're supposedly going!" she actually stamps her foot on the grass. Bloody town kids.

"Because" I sigh, "It's got to end somewhere, right? The Arena can't go on for ever."

"What do you expect to find?" she asks, still sounding exasperated.

"I don't know." I say truthfully, "But maybe there's something we can use."

And so we walk. We stop for a brief lunch of some nearly stale bread and some warm-ish water. When we reach the hedge again I fall short and explain to her how these keep herding me back to the centre of the woods. As I'm speaking my eyes fall upon the blowtorch.

We blow the hedge away and see the last thing I expected. Flat, dry earth that leads to a cliff. I look over the edge and see, very far below, jagged rocks.

"That's all there is, Haymitch, let's go back." She says, starting to walk away.

"No, I'm staying here." I say stoutly.

"All right" she sighs, "There's only five of us left. May as well say goodbye now, anyway. I don't want it to come down to you and me."

"OK" I say, and I agree wholeheartedly. I've grown to like Maysilee, she's a nice girl and I don't think I'd be able to kill her.

As she walks away I begin to walk along the edge of the cliff, looking down. I'm not sure what I'm trying to find. But something needs to click. Suddenly I almost lose my footing, a small rock falls over the edge, I watch it go, thinking that it was almost me. I sigh and sit down on the edge of the cliff, thinking of having a drink when the rock flies back up and over my head. I pause, sit my bag down beside me, lost in thought. I find a rock roughly the size of my fist. I lob it with all my might over the edge, it falls down. I stand there, waiting for a few moments when suddenly up comes the rock. I catch it in my hand. Before I can control it I start to laugh, it feels good to laugh. I don't stop for a few minutes.

Then I hear a scream. A scream I recognise. Maysilee. Even though our alliance is broken I run to the sound anyway. I stop short as I see her surrounded by a flock of candy-pink birds. Like no other birds I've ever seen. Their beaks are long and thin, almost like skewers. They've got to be Muttations. One of the beaks pierces Maysilee's neck. As soon as she falls, bleeding heavily from her neck the birds retreat. I rush to her side and see she is still breathing.

"Hay-mitch" she chokes.

I grab on to her hand and squeeze. I feel tears stinging my eyes but I fight them back. Her eyes are rolling and her breath is short and choked, I gently brush her blonde hair out of her face and she says softly, "You have- to win … promise."

"Yeah, Maysilee. I promise" I say, not really meaning it. But knowing she is in no place to deal with a contridiction.

As soon as I say this she squeezes my hand tighter, then the pressure stops abruptly. The cannon fires and I know she's dead. I leave her body where it lays, looking almost peaceful in the picturesque meadow.

I am momentarily disoriented. A hovercraft comes and collects her body.

"At least you're going home" I say quietly to myself. Maysilee and I were not friends, we'd never even spoken to each other before the Reaping. Yet for some reason I feel so sad over her death, I miss her company and without it I feel strangely lonely. I guess the Games can do that to you.

Suddenly I hear the cannon blast again. And then there were three. My stomach jumps a little. Only three of us left, maybe I wasn't lying to Maysilee, or to Charlie when I said I was going to win. I set up camp under a large tree in the woods and watch Maysilee's picture light up the sky. I think of the two girls who clutched her hand during the Reaping, the one who looked just like her, her twin sister. I hope they weren't watching her death.

I'm awoken in the early hours of the morning by the cannon blasting again. I sit bolt upright and grip the sleeping bag. Two of us. Two of us left. I wonder vaguely who it is that is my final adversary. I decide it would be stupid to go back to sleep now, with only two of us left. I begin to circle around, contemplating whether to go back to the cliff and wait for whoever it is to find me. But I'm saved the trouble. I see her, about ten metres away. The girl from District One, she's covered in blood that doesn't look like it belongs to her. Mt first instinct is to run, but then I realise that isn't an option. If I ever want to leave here, dead or alive, I'll have to fight her eventually.

I withdraw one of my smaller knives and throw it at her, hoping to hit her neck. She deflects it with her axe. Shit. She runs towards me, I walk slowly backwards, holding my ground.

"Hey, twelve. Ready to die?" she says cruelly, advancing on me, smiling.

"Dunno" I say, scowling at her, "You tell me." I lash out with my larger knife. I get her across the cheek. Her hand flies to the cut and tries, in vain, to stem the flow of blood. She swings her axe but I dodge it. I take another stab with my knife and this time get her shoulder. She shrieks in pain and lashes out again with the axe, this time it gets me, as I'm moving to dodge it it glides along the flesh on my stomach. I feel my skin open and piercing pain, I hope Aliyah isn't watching. Abandoning all pretence I throw another of my knives and it hits her in the stomach. She pulls it out swiftly and throws it back, it hits me in the arm, just below my shoulder. I dig it out and try to throw it back, but my arm spasms and the knife sticks in to the ground. The blood from my stomach wound is dripping sickeningly, my hand goes down to examine it, instead I feel my intestines. Without a second thought I turn and begin to jog slowly towards the cliff, my feet dragging on every alternate step, my head is spinning wildly. District One is following me, calling out to me. I throw my last knife behind me and know it hit her by her shriek but there's no telling where.

I'm holding my intestines in when I reach the cliff. I collapse on to the ground, my arms and legs twitching out of my control, thinking if she's going to kill me at least it will be quicker than this. The moment I collapse I see the axe fly above me. I lay on the ground thinking that we are both weaponless now, so whoever lasts longest will be the Victor. When a thought occurs to me. I turn my body and look at District One, she's standing over me looking triumphant, I also notice that the knife I just threw must have hit her in the eye because her eye socket is empty and gushing blood. Perhaps she knows that if it were a case of who could outlast the other, she's got it hands down. I, however, know better, I look at her and do my best to smile, though it may have just looked like a grimace. Within seconds the axe comes flying back over the cliff and plants itself in her head. The cannon blasts as she falls to the ground.

"Well, I'll be damned." I mutter as the trumpets sound to signal my victory. A hovercraft emerges and I'm lifted on to the ladder. I black out soon after.

I wake up in a comfortable bed in an all-white room with tubes coming out of my arms. I look down to see that my stomach has been sewn shut, so well that there is no scar. I try to move, to sit up. But liquid travels through one of the tubes and I'm out again. This happens several more times until finally I wake up with no tubes in my arms. A door I didn't notice before opens and a girl wearing a white uniform walks in holding a small tray of food. Good. I'm starving. I look down and see a tiny portion of grain and a bread roll.

"Is this all!" I say angrily. The girl just nods and leaves the room. I suddenly realise that the Capitol may know better than I do about this, because I can barely finish the grain, let alone the bread. After I finish eating, Ellie and Teddy come in to my room.

"Well done, well done!" Ellie trills at me, smiling widely.

I try to return the smile but then I think about the last time I saw her, I was one of forty-eight tributes. Now forty-seven of them are dead.

"Yes. Congratulations, Haymitch. Come on, we have to meet with Tigris for your Victor's ceremony."

The Victor's ceremony is like, the topping on the horror cake. Not only does the Capitol force kids to murder other kids they force the Victor's to go on with Ceaser Flickerman and re-live the whole experience. We meet with Tigris and my prep team. They make me look like a whole, well-rounded boy of sixteen when that couldn't be further from the truth.

On the stage I sit opposite Ceaser and a tape is played on the screens, a two-hour recap of my Games, all put together by a highly qualified tech team. He asks me more stupid questions. "How did you feel when you saw the Arena?" "Were you close with Maysilee Donner before the Games?" "What was going through your mind when you realised you were the Victor?" Then we get to the subject I can tell is touchy; "So, Haymitch. The whole incident with Gemstone and the axe.." it takes me a moment to realise who Gemstone is, then I realise it must be the girl from District One, "was that your intention when you discovered the cliff?"

"No" I say immediately, and truthfully, "When I found the cliff I didn't know what it was. And when I was fighting with Di- with Gemstone I just wanted to die in a place I felt comfortable. So I went there. I guess it just worked to my favour."

Ceasar nods and smiles kindly at me. "Well, thankyou Haymitch. You've been a great player and a very worthy Victor of the 2nd Quarter Quell." Then he turns and starts to address the audience, "Isn't it sad that there's a whole twenty-five years until the next one?" The crowd screams in answer. I scowl at them.

That night I'm back in my room in the training centre, not sleeping. I requested a late-night meal just so I could have the knife. Darkness scares me at the moment and I feel weak and vulnerable without a weapon. There's a knock on my door, I start because I assumed everyone was asleep. I open the door hesitantly, clutching the knife, ready to attack.

"Drop the knife, it's just me." It is Teddy.

"Oh, hi" I say awkwardly, I can't think what is so important that he'd pay me a midnight visit.

"Snow's not happy with you" he says bluntly, I look into his face and it strikes me how lined it is, he is only twenty-nine years old, having won the Games at just fourteen. He looks at least fifty.

"Snow? What, why?" I say, confused. I've never so much as said three words to President Snow.

"That stunt with the cliff, Haymitch. You weren't meant to know about that. It wasn't part of the Arena. But you used it to win."

"Well why are you telling me this, then?" I ask, "Not much I can do to change it now"

"No, you're right. But I'm just warning you don't flaunt it. Don't throw it in the Capitol's face, what you've done."

"Okay" I say, "Thanks, Teddy." I'm surprised he is helping me, I never got the feeling he liked me much.

"Yeah, well I thought we'd better be friends, I mean, we'll be neighbours in a few days and we'll be mentoring together next year. Goodnight, Haymitch."

Mentoring. I hadn't even thought of that. In a year's time I will have to coach a boy or a girl from Twelve and watch them get slaughtered. District Twelve never gets sponsors so I can count that out. Suddenly I wish I had died in the Arena. It's not like I'm ever going to leave there. Everytime I close my eyes I see vibrant, beautiful flowers, fluffy white clouds and green springy grass with Maysilee Donner's bleeding body on it. I feel the tears come, I fight them back but the pressure on my throat becomes too much. I let out a sob then cover my mouth, still afraid to make too much noise.

I'm escorted to a party in the Capitol, I wonder why they're doing this as it's not protocol. All I really want to do is get home.

I'm sitting alone in a chair while the music plays and Capitol citizens dance. Then a man in a suit comes over to me. I notice he only has one hand. I recognise him from somewhere but can't think where. As he gets closer I realise he's not really a man, more a boy. He only looks to be about nineteen or twenty.

"Chaff" he says as he reaches me, holding out his stump for me to shake. I do so, hesitantly. Then he laughs, "Good on ya, kid. Not many people here will touch it."

"What happened?" I ask. I realise he's not from the Capitol. He doesn't have the accent, for one thing.

"You don't recognise me? That's a change for the better. I was a Victor three years ago. One of the other Tributes cut it off" I wince as he says this, then memories come flooding back. Yes, I've seen him on the TV, I watched his Games, though I don't remember much. "I liked your trick with the axe, boy." He continues.

"I didn't mean it to happen like that-" I begin.

"Sure you didn't" Chaff says, winking. "Want a drink?"

"No, thanks. I don't drink." I say, scowling at him, I'm not happy he called me on the axe trick. I need to make everyone believe it was an accident, which it was.

Chaff laughs, "We'll see how long t_hat_ lasts." Then he strolls away genially, leaving me to wonder what he means.

Finally, after nearly two weeks of different parties, interviews and social events in the Capitol I board the train home with Teddy and Ellie. I keep to my compartment mostly. Ecstatic that I will be seeing my family and Aliyah in a matter of hours. I don't even emerge for meal times. Food doesn't appetise me much at the moment. Every time I see a colour that is bright or pretty it reminds me of the Arena, and all Capitol food is bright and pretty. Another reason I can't wait to get home. Because of the mines most of Twelve has a fine layer of coal dust on almost everything. As the train slows down in Twelve my stomach contracts with excitement. Mum, Dad, Andy, Aliyah! I'll be seeing them in moments.

The train doors open and there are a million cameras again, just like the day of the Reaping. However, I scan the crowd and see none of the people I want to see. I do see Maysilee's twin sister though, I feel a pain in my chest as though someone punched me from the inside, she looks exactly like Maysilee, it's like seeing her all over again. The image of her making me promise to win while blood gurgled from her throat plays in my head. I'm ushered in to a car and it begins driving.

"Where are we going?" I ask Teddy.

"Victors Villiage, your new home." He replies. Of course. When you win the Games you are given your very own house in Victors Villiage. These houses are bigger than ten of my houses in the Seam.

"Is that where my family is?" I ask eagerly, desperate to see them.

"They weren't at the station?" Teddy asks, frowning, "The families are usually required to be at the station when the Victor arrives. So the cameras can capture the happy reunion."

This doesn't sit right in my stomach. If families are required to be there, where are mine? Why didn't they come? This plays on my mind until the car stops. Teddy gets out and bids me goodnight, he goes in to his own house, where his wife is no doubt waiting for him.

The house that has been prescribed for me has lights on and looks inviting. I try to walk at a normal pace but I find myself almost running, sure I'm about to see Charlie, lounging on the plush couch watching a clear TV with no static; my father perched in an armchair reading a book; mother and Aliyah in the kitchen hastily preparing a welcome home dinner for me. All eagerly awaiting my return. I wrench open the door and burst through the threshold. The lights are on, but the house is empty. The furniture sits untouched, the TV black, the kitchen unused.

Confused, I open the door and set off at a run towards the Seam, I reach my house and find the shutters drawn. I walk up the path and knock on the door. No answer. I frown at the door and bang a little louder. Still, no answer. I twist the door knob and the door swings open.

"Hello? I'm back!" I yell into the apparently empty house. And empty it is. I look in every room. Charlie's sheets are ruffled and it looks as though he'd just stepped out of bed, which is weird in itself as Charlie always makes his bed. I go in to my parents room and find the same situation in there, ruffled sheets but perfectly empty. I frown at the room and then exit the house. I go two doors down and knock on Aliyah's door. Her father opens the door. I start to say hello when he pulls me inside.

"Haymitch. You shouldn't be here"

I am face to face with him now and he seems to have aged about ten years since the Reaping. Has he really been that worried about me? "What? I don't know what you mean. I just came to see Aliyah- and if you knew where my family is. They're not-"

"Haymitch" he says again. He closes his eyes and presses his thumb and forefinger into them. "I wish I wasn't the one to tell you this, son. I really do."

I stay silent, staring at him. Completely confused.

"They- that is to say, your ma, your pa, little Charlie and … A-aliyah. They- Haymitch, they're dead."

"What?" I say, I try to say more. But that's all I can manage. My stomach is through the floor and the punching in my chest has gotten worse and more frequent. I stare around the room as though expecting them all to burst out and scream "Surprise!"

"A week after you won the Games, they- the Peacekeepers came for Aliyah. But not our Peacekeepers, Haymitch. They were totally unfamiliar, must have been from the Capitol. They took her away, striaght out of her bed." I think of the way Charlie's bed was left messy, when he always made a point of making it.

"But, why?" I manage, my throat is constricting at an alarming pace.

"I'm not too sure, son." He says, I can tell he is trying very hard to keep his voice even, "But-" his words were broken off by dry, racking sobs. I turn round to see Aliyah's mother standing in the doorway, wrapped in a black coat, holding a piece of cloth to her face.

This is too much for me to handle. I try to say goodbye to them but all that comes out is a croak, I'm running. Running through the Seam. Running passed the square. Running down the path to Victors Villiage. Running up my drive. I run all the way to my loungroom, where I collapse on the soft carpetted floor and let my emotion wash over me. Dead. Mum. Dad. Andy. Aliyah. All dead because of me. If I had of died in the Arena they'd all be alive. Suddenly I find myself wishing Gemstone had been Victor. That she'd thrown the axe three seconds sooner, that it had planted itself in my head, not hers. I'd be dead, but they'd be alive, living their lives.

The Victory Tour is a subdued affair for me. Teddy knows what has happened, as does most of District Twelve but Ellie is clueless and we go about out duties. I smile when I'm told, wave when I'm told and read speeches Teddy has pre-written for me. I barely take in the other Districts, though I thoroughly enjoy the beach in District Four. The water on my toes is unlike anything I've ever experienced.

When finally it's over I revert back to staying in the confines of my house. I spend most of my days just lying on the floor of the loungeroom. I haven't even been upstairs yet. Occasionally I eat, but not very often. I spend my nights laying awake, always clutching a knife, trying not to think about the Games, instead thinking about my family and about Aliyah, I haven't been back to see her parents since they told me the news, but I think they've been to see me. I sleep during the day, when it's light out and safe. And when I woke up one evening I found a platter of beef and bread on my doorstep. I took three bites of it before it reminded me too much of the meal I ate with Maysilee in the Arena and my throat became too dry to chew and the tears came.

Soon, though, I dried myself out. I no longer cried, it was no longer possible. I still lay deadpan every night on the floor thinking about what I could have done to prevent their deaths and I still slept in the sanctuary of daylight. But no tears came.

As the months go by I begin to become myself again, barely. I venture upstairs and decide I like it better downstairs. Upstairs has five bedrooms and is obviously built for a family. A family that I no longer have. I walk to town occasionally and spend my new found riches in different places. My favourite being the bakery, the sugar helps me take my mind off things, though I'm careful to steer clear of the brightly coloured ones.

Early one morning there is a knock at my door. I ignore it. Whoever it is knocks louder. I still ignore it. Then I hear the door open. I freeze where I am. Even though I know I'm not there anymore, half of me is still in the Arena, I guess it always will be.

"Haymitch?" It was Teddy.

"What do you want, Teddy. I've only just gotten to sleep" I say groggily.

"Don't you know what day it is, Haymitch?"

I think for a moment, "Saturday?"

"Haymitch, it's the day of the Reaping."

All of the wind is knocked out of my body immediately. The Reaping? It can't be. It hasn't been a year yet, has it? I go over the months in my head. No, Teddy is mistaken. He must be.

"Be in the square at two" Teddy is saying, "If you want to go together meet me on my front lawn at one-thirty."

I lay back down when he leaves, though I can't sleep now. So today is the day I will meet the two children that have become my responsibility. Who are about to go through the horrors I've gone through.. still going through. I decide it's best if I show up with Teddy. So I meet him on his front lawn and we walk together.

"How are you faring?" he asks me while we walk.

"Just dandy" I say sarcastically, "I can't even _look_ at bright colours, I can't sleep at night, whenever the sun goes down if I don't have a knife in my hand I'm positive a Career is going to come and kill me. I can't go upstairs in my house because it looks like a family should live there. I-"

"Haymitch" Teddy cuts me off, "You're not alone, you know. Nobody ever totally leaves the Arena."

We reach the square and I see that two of the seats on the stage have mine and Teddy's names on them. I sit down quietly and wring my hands together in my lap. I see Ellie bouncing towards me, her hair a vibrant purple this year, which makes me wring my hands tighter. As the children of District Twelve are herded into the roped off areas I look out over them all. Which of you will I be mentoring? In the crowd I catch sight of Maysilee's twin. The familiar plunging sensation hits me, I hope dearly it's not her. I don't think I'd be able to look at her long enough to mentor her.

"Don't worry" Teddy says quietly to me, "It's your first year being a mentor, I'll do most of the work this year, okay?"

I nod. Still wringing my hands convulsively.

"Welcome! To the 51st Annual Hunger Games!" cries Ellie happily, "I'm so excited to meet this years two lucky children. Ladies first." She trills and bounces over to the girls' ball. Her hand reaches in and my heart stops, even though there is no one left for me to worry for. "Feona Haywood" she cries. I see a girl at the front of the crowd jump a little and move forward to the stage, her face blank. "Good girl!" Ellie says kindly patting her on the back, "Now, for the boys!" she repeats the process at the boys' ball, selects a slip of paper and cries, "Luis Flagley" A boy of fifteen walks towards the stage on stiff legs. I see the fear all over his face and wonder if that's what I looked like last year. Once Feona and Luis have shaken hands and Ellie has trilled about what an honour they have ahead of them the crowd disperses. I sit on the stage a lot longer than anyone else, staring in to the distance.

"Haymitch?" Teddy says softly, "C'mon, we've got to board the train in a minute"  
>"Back to the Capitol." I sigh and follow Teddy to the waiting car.<p>

I ignore the Tributes on the train, I know it's the wrong thing to do, that I should be talking to them and helping them. But I can't face them. This is bringing back so many memories of last year when I was one of four District Twelve Tributes.

The day after the opening ceremony sees all the Tributes away all day at training. Meaning the mentors have leisure time. Teddy and I are sitting in the lunch room, set up to always have food for hungry mentors, when in walks Chaff. The boy I met at one of the Capitol parties I was made to attend while Peacekeepers killed my family.

"Hey, it's cliff boy!" Chaff slurs, I can tell he's really drunk.

"Chaff, does Gretta know where you are? Or how drunk you are?" Teddy asks, sighing.

I deduce that Gretta is Chaff's fellow mentor. I've since learned that they belong to District Eleven.

"Nope. She's too busy planning ways for our Tribute's to die in style"

Teddy sighs again, "I'm going to go and find her, okay Chaff?"

"You do that, Teddy bear" Chaff says, sounding proud of his wit. His eyes close momentarily and his head sways on his neck. Then he opens his eyes and looks at me as though he's only just realised I'm here, "Hey, cliff boy. Want a drink?"

"No, I told you last year. I don't drink. I'm not old enough." I say wearily.

"Oh please, boy. You're a Victor. Do you honestly think they're gonna arrest you? Besides, it helps numb the pain." He tilts the bottle towards me and raises his eyebrows.

I eye it as if it were a poisonous snake. I raise my hand as if to take it then push it down so it's facing the floor.

"Careful!" Chaff rages, "You'll spill it!"

At that moment Teddy reappears with who I assume must be Gretta. She sighs at the sight of Chaff and supports him out of the room.

"Do all the Victors turn out like that?" I ask Teddy, gesturing towards the door that Chaff has just exited.

"Of course not. I'm fine, so is Gretta. It's just that.. well, Chaff had a tough Games" Teddy sounds awkward now.

"What do you mean?" I ask, intrigued. Aren't everyone's Games tough?

"Well, he and his fellow District Tribute were allies from the start, you see" Teddy paused and closed his eyes, as though trying to decide how to word this, "they were friends before the Reaping … and they ended up as the final two."

I gasp, I try to imagine a situation where Maysilee and I were the final two. That's horrible enough without factoring in us being friends before the Reaping. "So they fought it out?" I ask, not really wanting to know the answer, and wishing I'd never asked.

"No." Teddy says, smiling sadly, "they refused to kill each other. Both of them chucked their weapons into the lake. Refused to even acknowledge that they were still in the Games. They even shared a sleeping bag. Then, in the middle of the night the Gamemakers set a pack of Mutts on them while they were sleeping. Chaff woke up first. One of the Mutts bit off his hand, but they tore the girl to shreds. Chaff saw the whole thing."

I sit silently, unable to form even one word. The reality of the Games hits me harder than ever. "He saw it?"

"Yes." Teddy says, "they didn't call the Mutts off until the girl was a bloody mess on the ground. Chaff tried to hold her hand while she died but there wasn't enough of her left to hold." He pauses for a second, apparently lost in thought, "that night has the highest ratings of any Games. And then when he went to the hospital after the Games to get fixed up they refused to fit him with a new hand."

I suddenly feel as though I'm going to be sick. I take a large gulp of water to steady myself.

"Then," Teddy continues, though I wish he'd stop. I don't want to hear any more of Chaff's story. "they came to his house during dinner time a few days later and slit his families throats. While he sat at the table and watched. They disposed of the bodies.. but they- they left him to clean up the blood. I don't think he's been sober a day since."

"I don't blame him" I say, still fighting the urge to vomit. Suddenly my sufferings seem like nothing next to poor Chaff. I think how rude I was to him and shame pours through my body.

"You see, Haymitch. What has happened to you isn't too uncommon. Horrible, yes. But not uncommon. The Capitol don't like to be made the fool. And people who do the wrong thing in the Games have to be punished. Chaff is an example to others, and so are you, now."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. So the Capitol makes a habit of torturing the poor kids who survived their original torture. I don't want to stay on this subject any longer, the urge to vomit is becoming more and more prominent. I cast around wildly for a change of subject. "But, Teddy. If Chaff's always like that why do they let him mentor?"

"Oh, he's not always like _that_," he gestures his head toward the door, "but he's always drunk to some extent. And he's always got a bottle in his hand."

"Does it really work, though?" I ask quietly.

"What?"

"Liquor. Does it really make you forget?"

"I don't know. I've never tried it. As far as the Games go mine were.. okay"

I don't ask him to elaborate on this statement, I would never ask anyone to relive their Games.

"Haymitch, you never need to self medicate, okay. I am your friend. If you ever need to talk I'll listen. And my wife is a hell of a cook. You're welcome for dinner anytime."

"Thankyou" I say quietly, then leave the dining room for my bed.

The Games begin and it's torture watching on a screen. I watch Feona and Luis running from the Cornicopia and I feel as though I'm running too. I remember myself turning around just in time to see Dorian getting speared. Teddy makes it as easy for me as possible, though. He tries to organise sponsors, though not many are very interested. All I have to do is sit and pretend to watch when on the inside I'm silently reliving my own Games.

The Games last for two weeks. The Arena consists of a snow covered forrest and multiple ice-lakes. A few of the Tributes freeze to death. Luis meets his end when the ice-lake he is standing on cracks open and he's plunged into the icy depths. When the Hovercraft plucks him out he is a sickly blue colour. Feona makes it to the top four, then she has her throat bitten out by a brutal girl from District Two during hand-to-hand combat. This girl, Enobaria, goes on to be crowned Victor. Her first public appearance following her victory she is seen to be sporting surgically enhanced teeth, which now end in points.

Teddy and I return home to District Twelve. I feel more empty than ever, knowing I have to go back and face Feona's and Luis' families. Half of me knows it's not my fault, but that doesn't stop the guilt.

"Is it always this hard?" I ask Teddy on the train home.

He hesitates before answering, "It does get.. somewhat easier."

I do take Teddy up on his offer for a friendship, he comes to visit me a few times a week. We don't talk about the Games and I don't tell him about my nightmares but his company is enough to keep me holding on. Sometimes when I'm in town I pass by The Hob, which is like Twelve's black market, I stop at Rippa's shop. She sells white liquor. Most days I have to drag myself away from there, because I don't want to disappoint Teddy.

Then one day, in the dead of winter, the power in Victor's Villiage goes out. We are plunged in to darkness and freezing temperatures. It reminds me so forcibly of my nights in the Arena that I nearly stab Teddy when he comes over to check on me. Workers from the Capitol come out via Hovercraft promptly to fix the problem, apparently it was a wiring glitch. Once electricity is restored I lay back down on my loungeroom floor and get lost in my own thoughts, twirling my knife in my hands. Then, breaking the silence sufficiently comes an ear-splitting BOOM. It makes the windows in my house shake, for a second I think they're going to shatter. My hands fly over my head, thinking of the volcano in the Arena. Then it clicks that I'm not in the Arena, and that the boom came from Teddy's direction. I run out into my yard and collapse almost immediately.

The place that used to be Teddy's house is now a smouldering wreck. It looks as though it's exploded. I run over to the ruins but I know immediately it's hopeless. I see Teddy's wife laying in the ruins, obviously dead and I am reassured that there is no hope for Teddy. i examine the smouldering ruins for another few minutes while a few citizens of Twelve come to investigate. Among them I spot Rippa.

I walk towards her, dazed and still slightly disbelieving.

"Can I have some liquor?" I ask her in a monotone voice, sure she won't turn me away due to my age.

"Of course you can, sweetheart." She says kindly and leads me back to her house.


End file.
